Holidays can be stressful in the merriest of times. And in hard times? Well, that’s a turkey and a half. So how can you preserve your mental health and approach the holidays with relish? Dr. Amy Morgan, a licensed clinical therapist and relationship expert who leads UMD’s BE WELL class* (formerly called U SAD?), shared her top tips for wellness over the holidays – or any stressful time.
- Regulate your nervous system – the physical responses your body has to both stressors and calm. Start the day with even a few minutes of exercise, breathing, meditation or just going outside for a walk around the block – just 10 minutes outside walking can go miles toward keeping you grounded.
- Connect with someone who helps you regulate. Whether it’s a Facetime with your bestie, snuggling the family pet or pulling a favorite family member aside for a chat, find a touchpoint at least once a day to help you keep your nervous system on track. Don’t find someone to complain with, but someone who helps you feel calm, compassionate and connected.
- Reduce your social media. It can be tempting to find solace on your screen, but social media often provides the reverse. Consider trying a social media reboot.
- Make a plan for how you’ll handle a tough moment. Know who you’re sitting with and when you want to get involved or walk away – setting your own boundary and following it. Ask yourself if it’s healthy for you in the moment to engage or to let it go.
- If you decide to engage in a difficult topic, you can do it in a way that preserves the relationship. An acronym, GIVE, can help you walk through this: Be Gentle, act Interested, Validate, and use an Easy manner.
- Pick one mantra for dealing with people who stress you out and repeat it as needed. Here are a few, with credit to therapist Morgan Pommells:
- Other people’s words hurt less when you remember they are not the authority on who you are.
- Protecting your peace matters more than proving your point.
- When you argue with someone who feeds on conflict, you're not defending yourself, you're serving them dinner.
- It's okay to cherish the good moments with your family while protecting yourself from the painful ones.
*The BE WELL course, a skill-building prevention program, is transitioning from its former name, U SAD: Coping with Stress, Anxiety, and Depression. Students interested in taking BE WELL should sign up for the course in Testudo under its former name. Its course number, FMSC177, remains the same.